


Do it for Obama

by DanniAuttumns



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Grease - Freeform, Grease 2 - Freeform, M/M, Romantic Tension, Sexual Tension, because it's homestuck, epilogue compliant, post-epilogue, pre homestuck 2, sexual innuendo, sort of like the nebulous place before the end of meat but before homestuck 2, talk of relationship stuff, two dumbasses watching movies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 00:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21688732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanniAuttumns/pseuds/DanniAuttumns
Summary: One of my prompts for NaNo, knowing immediately it was going to be homestuck.Dave and Karkat watch movies and it's nice. They have a conversation.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Kudos: 28





	Do it for Obama

Karkat discovered something very interesting about Dave Strider in the years he’d lived with the man. Just an ounce of affection and he’d melt in the palm of his hand.

If only Karkat were better at human displays affection.

“I know I said some of our movies were trash, but this was a new low.” Karkat grumped half-heartedly at the end credits, absolutely not misty eyed at Sandy and Danny riding off together in the sunset.

Dave had been exploring ‘musicals’ for some god forsaken reason, and as much as Karkat complained about it, he secretly loved every single one. They always had some form of romantic subplot for him to grasp onto, and he was pretty sure Dave knew it and that’s why they were doing the movie thing together.

As far as first dates went, it wasn’t terrible.

Well… first date after…

Dave didn’t look at Karkat, just holding up a box of tissues he’d materialized out of his sylladex.

“First of all, fuck you.” Karkat grabbed the box, blowing his nose loudly on the soft cotton, then folding it and dabbing at his eyes, “And second of all, _fuck_ _you_.”

Even from his vantage point on the couch, he could tell Dave’s lips were turned up on the side that he was not on. He’d promised to go shades-free for the night, and Karkat had promised not to put bugs in the communal buttery exploded kernels.

Not that he was going to. Not everything had bugs in it, thank you very much. Just the good stuff.

“Grease is a classic earth movie, some parts of it did not age well, but that’s why we gotta look back fondly on some of our media to appreciate how much we’ve grown as a society.” Dave reached into the bottom of the bowl, dragging his finger along the bottom and licking the pure salt and butter from his fingertips.

_Do not pop a wriggly, Vantas._ Karkat warned his current self mentally. Instead, he shifted so his legs were going over Dave’s thigh at a 90-degree angle, his calves were incredibly comfortable in the new position. Dave looked decidedly more flustered and attempted to push up sunglasses that weren’t there to cover it up.

“You said it inspired a sequel?”

\---

Whatever imaginary qualms he had with the original Grease movie, Karkat had actual opinions about the sequel. He knew he shouldn’t feel this passionate about a movie, everyone knew sequels were hot garbage pedaled out for more money, but this?

This was a disaster. He felt enraged on behalf of the original movie.

And yet…

He couldn’t stop watching. He held no nostalgia for the musical, besides the enjoyment gained from watching and commenting on it on the date, and Dave!

Dave left the room when he had the most questions to go make more popcorn!

**_The bastard!_ **

“I can accept that adults live in the same community as schools. I can accept that sometimes the young of your species have interest in adults that seem ‘mature’ or some shit, but him!” Karkat pointed at the screen, to the teacher explaining the Fowl and the Stingbugs. Using even more colorful language than he himself would use. “He isn’t even conventionally attractive!”

It… was a rather interesting peek into human reproduction. Lots of talks about flowers. Perhaps humans reproduced more florally than Karkat initially thought. Dave certainly could be expected to tell the truth about 0% of the time when it came to human things.

Dave peeked his head into the room for a moment to confirm, yes, he was, absolutely, by human standards.

The term ‘I’d bang him’ shouldn’t have made Karkat’s stomach clench in jealously. The man was long dead, probably was long dead by the time Dave was born.

“Are all human teenagers just as incapable of innuendo as you are?” Karkat pulled his knees to his chest. All the humans he’d meet seemed to be walking piles of not saying what they were thinking about, but really, that was something they had in common with trolls if he was honest with himself.

“I like to think we have just as many terms for stuff as trolls do. I’m just more used to the human ones and you’re more used to the troll ones.” Dave sat down next to Karkat, offering the bowl to him and studying him. Really studying him. “Besides… most of the folks who played teens in high school are really adults. Teenage humans are pretty weird looking. You know that from experience.”

“And to think it took you so long to get your bulge out of your chute about learning slang.” Karkat masked his frown with a handful of popcorn, and it didn’t escape Dave’s notice.

“To be fair, it’s a whole different system of anatomy.” Dave’s eyes dipped down to Karkat’s hands, over to his legs and eventually-

Dave looked away, his face heating. Karkat did the same in the opposite direction.

In front of them, the movie continued, now with some asinine plot about a bomb shelter.

“My lusus dug me an underground place to hide in when the drones came by. It’s sort of the same situation as a bomb shelter. I didn’t think it was a thing with humans.”

“They kind of died out in like the 70s? I don’t know exactly when, but we had this whole feud going on with Russia or China or something and people were convinced the bombs were going to drop specifically in their hometown. Kind of ridiculous if you think about it. All the places to bomb and middle America is definitely the place that’d be hit. There’s nothing even out there but corn.”

“I don’t know, corn seemed to be a pretty popular export in America. You had it in basically everything by the time the meteors hit.”

“You know what? That’s a valid point. Fuck the oil fields and the densely populated cities, if we destroyed the corn our economy would turn to shambles.”

Karkat groaned loudly, and Dave gave him one of those grins that made his heart flutter. When trolls bared all their teeth it was usually a sign of aggression, but when Dave did it…

God Karkat loved it when Dave smiled.

The two teens were singing again, something about war and becoming a soldier and a nurse respectively and ‘doing it for your country’.

“They can’t possibly mean what I think they mean.” Karkat snorted, this was a whole new low in human reproductive strategies. Just lie to your partner! That works every time! “You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Afraid not, baby making goes up immediately before and after people are called to war. I’m pretty sure there were laws enacted where if you had a new baby at home you couldn’t be drafted, but don’t quote me on that.”

“So humans could just... dodge all moral responsibility to fight via getting someone human pregnant?”

“At least in America, yeah.”

“I will never understand human laws.”

“I don’t even think I understood that human law.”

“That’s because human laws were fucking stupid.”

_ It’s like we’re doing it for the Statue of Liberty! Or the Grand Canyon! Or Disneyland. _

“I hate myself for watching this.” Karkat groaned, head falling back into the couch, his legs going back to their perch on Dave’s thighs, “I hate everything about this movie and I fucking hate you for making me watch it.”

There was a moment of absolute quiet that passed between them, and Karkat wanted to punch himself directly in the throat every second that passed.

Dave slowly moved his hand to Karkat’s knee, rubbing small circles into it.

Karkat couldn’t even bring himself to pull away.

“Well shit, maybe I hate it too. I didn’t think about how strongly I felt about it before you came along.” Dave lifted the remote, pausing the TV. Karkat sat up, there was a clenching in his stomach of dread and discomfort. He couldn’t handle Dave casually brushing aside something like that so glibly. “Maybe I hate a lot of things I didn’t realized I hated. Movies and popcorn were never really my thing, you know? That scene? Absolutely pathetic, I’ve drawn better lines than that when I was prepubescent. 'Do it for your country? The Statue of Liberty?' Means absolutely nothing to me. Well, maybe not this version of me, other me seemed pretty into the Shitty Liberties, but still. If I were going to deliver a line like that, I’d at least do it about something that actually mattered to me.”

“Like what?” Karkat asked, his chest feeling strange and tight and equally enraptured by this raging dumbass and like he’d do literally anything to shut him up.

“I don’t know, the economy maybe. I’d do it for the economy.” Without even realizing the shift, Karkat put his left foot by Dave’s hip and Dave had turned towards him. He had to swallow to keep from interrupting, “I’d do it for world peace. We deserve some world peace.”

“How noble of you.”

“Do it for apple juice. I’d do you for apple juice.”

The words dried up in Karkat’s throat.

“But most of all,” Karkat saw that impish grin on Dave’s face before he realized where this conversation was going, “I’d do you for Obama.”

“I’m never letting you touch me again.”

Dave slithered himself fully between Karkat’s legs, his hands on either side of his hips, and Karkat wanted more than anything to just lean back and do it for Obama.

He hated himself for thinking that sentence, holy shit.

“I hated that.” Karkat said, his voice a lot quieter than he was used to it being, he was surprised Dave could even hear it, but he just got closer and matched the tone.

“I can hate you sometimes too.” Dave said, and then looked concerned about the words that came out of his mouth. Karkat smiled a bit.

“You don’t hate me, you don’t pity me enough.”

Talking this quiet and this close was new, it made both of them feel tense and it was almost too much. They both would jump back if the other got too close, they were still much too nervous about whatever all this was.

“You’re right, I don’t actually hate you.” Dave admitted, his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s fine, Dave. I didn’t… expect you to.”

“No, it’s not that.” Dave said, pulling back and sitting on his feet. Karkat regretted the loss immediately.

“We aren’t like that, it’s fi-”

“I might actually-”

They both froze, eyes locking, neither of them breathing. It would just be so easy to let him out of it, say he felt the same and the words didn’t have to be said. As much as they both talked, they were more than capable of nuance sometimes.

But he didn’t. He didn’t let Dave off the hook. Karkat remained absolutely silent and waited.

“Not… hate you. The opposite.”

Karkat pressed his lips together, nodding. This was a step. If Karkat could say he hated Dave in the heat of the moment, Dave was allowed to not hate him when it was the right time.

Instead of pressing, he just reclaimed the space, pressing their lips together gently. Dave smiled against his mouth, pulling back after a moment to let his boyfriend see how happy he was.

“I don’t not hate you too, Dave.” Karkat said softly, and that grin just got bigger and brighter.

“Do you want to finish the movie then?”

“Fuck you for even asking me that question.”


End file.
